Fixing America

What follows is one man's fantasy for fixing America.  Enjoy!

On Tuesday, January 22, 2013, the day after the inauguration of the reelected President and Vice President, millions of second amendment supporting Americans arrive in Washington DC.  They have not come, as they have in the past, to hang out on the Washington Mall and listen to speeches.  They are here to carry out a plan that began to be conceived on the day following Election Day 2012.

Those that have traveled from the southern states have gathered on the steps of the Capitol building.  Several thousand of them enter the Capitol and turn left, to the people's house, the House of Representatives.  The security officers for the building offer no resistance.  The group entering is too large and too well armed.  Besides, they knew this day would come.  They had secretly hoped it would have come a lot sooner.

The entrance of these Americans on to the floor of the House interrupts the proceedings. Before any House member has a chance to speak, a man wearing a LNYHBT tee shirt informs the politicians that the group now before them has sworn an oath to restore the Constitution as the governing document of our Federal government.  The members of the House can choose to participate in this process or they may choose to resign from office.  He jokingly tells them that this is what he calls being “pro-choice.”

He continues by explaining that, effective immediately, the Constitution will be followed.  It will be followed as it was intended to be followed by its Framers and by the people of the thirteen states that ratified it. 

The voice of an objection starts to be heard but is quickly drowned out by the sound of hundreds of weapons being made ready for use.  The objector abruptly stops speaking.

The man asks if anyone is choosing to resign.  The room is silent.

After a brief pause another leader of the visiting group announces that the next order of business will be to elect a new Speaker of the House.  She looks at the current Speaker and strongly suggests to him that he nominate Allen West.  The Speaker nods slowly and then in an awkwardly quiet voice nominates former congressmen West.

The woman says, "The Speaker has nominated Allen West to be the Speaker of the House."  Is there a second she asks?

“Seconded” shout the voices of 434 people sitting at their desks.

She smiles.  "Are there any other nominations?"  Silence.

She smiles again and then turns to the current Speaker and asks him to call for a vote.  The vote is quick and unanimous.  Allen West steps out from the crowd to assume the role of Speaker.

The Lt. Colonel says, "Speeches can wait.  Let's get to work."

One of the visitors, a more formally dressed one in a suit, tie and handsomely holstered well polished revolver, hands Speaker West some papers.  They are Articles of Impeachment against the President and the Vice President of the United States.  They were prepared by constitutional scholars of the Heritage Foundation.  He reads out loud the complete list of high crimes and misdemeanors committed by the President and Vice President over the last four years.

When he is done reading he calls for a vote to Impeach the President and Vice President.  The vote is unanimous.  Speaker West thanks the members for their bipartisan support.  He tells them he has an Impeachment to deliver to the Senate but he shall return.  No one should leave.  The House is still in session.

Speaker West exits the House and makes his way over to the Senate.  Several thousand Americans line the hallways and fill the rotunda.  The crowd is respectful and serious.  He enters the Senate and finds a thousand more Americans along with all 100 Senators.  Without uttering a word Speaker West delivers the Impeachment to the Senate Majority Leader.  Standing next to the Majority Leader is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.  The Chief Justice's presence had been made possible with the assistance of Americans from several of the northern states.

Upon seeing the hand-off of the Impeachment, the Chief Justice now understands why he has been asked to come to the Senate.  Without any prodding he commences the Impeachment Trial of the President and Vice President of the United States.  He asks Speaker West to present his opening argument.  The Speaker reads the Articles of Impeachment to the Senators.  He then turns to the Chief Justice and tells him that the House rests its case.  No one makes a case in defense of the President or Vice President.  The Chief Justice calls for a vote on impeachment.  One-hundred Senators vote guilty on all of the charges.  The Chief Justice announces that the President and Vice President, having been found guilty of the Articles of Impeachment, are removed from office. 

In accordance with the succession plan in the Constitution, Allen West is sworn in by the Chief Justice as President of the United States. 

President West nominates Sarah Palin to be his Vice President.  Within a few minutes she is confirmed by both the House and the Senate.  She emerges from the throngs of visitors to the Senate and is quickly sworn in by the Chief Justice.

Back over in the House the former Speaker has nominated Paul Ryan to be Speaker of the House.  A vote is taken and it is unanimous in its approval of Ryan.

President West submits a bill to both houses of Congress repealing Obamacare.  It takes only a few minutes for both houses to unanimously vote for repeal.  President West signs the bill.  He does this with a single pen and without any fanfare.

President West announces that the capital of Israel is Jerusalem and that the US Embassy to Israel shall be moved from Tel Aviv to the holy city at the soonest possible date.

President West submits a bill lowering the corporate tax rate to zero.  The change is retroactive to 1/1/13.  It passes the House and then the Senate unanimously.  President West signs the bill.

President West submits a bill eliminating the entire IRS code and replacing it with an 18% flat tax on all Americans regardless of income.  The change is retroactive to 1/1/13.  It passes the House and then the Senate unanimously.  President West signs the bill.

President West submits a balanced budget plan that includes funds to pay down the existing $16 trillion deficit over the next ten years.  It passes the House and then the Senate unanimously with no changes.  President West signs the bill.

President West signs his first Executive Order.  It says that all Executive Orders issued by the former president are rescinded, effective immediately.

Someone hands President West a message.  It says Moody's has restored America's Triple A credit rating.  Good news does travel exceedingly fast.

President West joins a conference call with the heads of all federal employee unions.  He tells them that the Federal government no longer recognizes the unions or their rules.  The Federal government will deal with each of its employees as individuals.  He closes by saying, "if Wal-Mart can operate without unions so can the Federal government."

President West is handed a cell phone. He can be heard saying, "yes Mr. Prime Minister, lets get to work on the Keystone Pipeline. Thank you."

A group of Americans from the western states have been busy transporting members of the President's cabinet and all of his Czars to the Capitol.  They have been made comfortable in several of the seats in the Gallery.  President West looks up and addresses the Cabinet members and requests all of their resignations.  They are handed resignation letters that have been previously prepared by lawyers from the Landmark Legal Foundation.  Each cabinet member affixes their signature. 

President West proceeds to make the following cabinet appointments: 

Secretary of State - John Bolton

Department of Defense - Newt Gingrich

Department of Homeland Security - Rudy Giuliani

Department of Interior - Todd Palin

Department of Justice - Mark Levin

Department of Treasury - Steve Forbes

Department of Veteran Affairs - Angela West

White House Chief of Staff - Rick Santorum

President West also states that the following cabinet posts and the departments they represent are eliminated: 

Department of Agriculture

Department of Commerce

Department of Education

Department of Energy

Department of Health & Human Services

Department of Housing & Urban Development

Department of Labor

Department of Transportation

Council of Economic Advisors

Environmental Protection Agency

Office of Management & Budget

Small Business Administration

United States Trade Representatives

United States Ambassador to the United Nations

The Senate unanimously approves the President's nominations and eliminations.

The new cabinet members assemble near the President, prepared to offer any advice or receive instruction.  One of them hands the President a bottle of Two if by Tea, the tea made by a company owned by Rush Limbaugh.  It looks like the blueberry flavor.  President West says thank you and takes a moment to have a drink.

President West joins a conference call with governors of all 50 states and tells them that full enforcement of all existing immigration laws will commence effective immediately.  He will be instructing the new Attorney General to cooperate fully and swiftly with state requests for detention and deportation.  He asks the governors along the border of Mexico to start building a moat and asks the governor of Florida to start rounding up some alligators.

President West whispers something to Vice President Palin.  She whispers something back.  A few moments later she is seen using one of the Senate phones and she can be heard telling the UN Solicitor General that the US is withdrawing from the United Nations along with all funding for its operations.

President West again addresses the members of the Gallery.  He asks for all of the Czars to stand.  He announces that they are all fired and under no circumstances will he replace them.

Megyn Kelly

President West requests the resignations of both members of the Supreme Court appointed by the impeached president.  Coincidentally, both judges have been peacefully brought to the Senate by Americans from Alaska and Hawaii.  They are handed previously prepared letters to sign.  With barely a glance they sign the letters and hand them to the President.  President West then announces his nomination of Megyn Kelly and Miguel Estrada to fill the sudden vacancies on the High Court.  They both receive unanimous approval of the Senate.

President West asks the Senators to follow him back to the House for his first joint session of Congress.  The armed and alert Americans in the hallways continue to maintain a professional demeanor. 

As he is making the walk the President is handed a note.  Upon reading it he smiles.  It appears that the Iranian nuclear program has been dealt a major setback as a result of a series of expertly executed bombing missions.  He carefully folds the note and places it in his pocket.

The President and the Senators enter the floor of the House.  Once the Senators have found a place to sit the President begins to speak.  He takes a moment to thank the members of Congress for their excellent work.  The applause is deafening.

There is much more to do he tells them but he suggests that they could use a brief lunch break.  West starts to leave the podium, stops abruptly, then returns to the microphone.  "One more thing. There is no more free lunch in Congress.  If you want to eat you pay.  See everyone back here at 1300 hours. Don't be late! Dismissed."